GREECE OR BUST: "My Life in Ruins"

With any luck, the new Nia Vardalos comedy "My Life in Ruins" has already left your cineplex to journey forth to fulfill its natural function as DVD fodder for your local 7-11.

It seems to be another one of those situation where pedigree doesn't amount to a hill of beans. It looked good on paper. The charming, funny Nia Vardalos, the big, fat movie star from her first film "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". Donald Petrie, a fine director of many comedies such as "Miss Congeniality" and "Grumpy Old Men" was at the helm. A more than capable supporting cast, topped off by Oscar-winner Richard Dreyfuss. But somewhere, somehow the whole thing didn't add up. Not even with the help of visual eye candy like the Greek Islands and Alexis Georgoulis. As Irv, Mr. Dreyfuss' on-screen character might proclaim, "It's a shanda!"

I guess the powers that be thought it would be a good idea to play off Ms Vardalos' success. But then its not often that lightening strikes twice. That movie was a charming, family comedy which was a re-telling of the Cinderella story. Trying to bank on another modern fairy tale, this twisted take on Beauty & the Beast makes us wonder: who's Belle? This visually obvious beast is the stunning Mr Georgoulis, who arrives early on the scene as a hairy mop of a bus driver for the tour the that Georgia (Ms Vardalos) is 'forced' to lead. A smart knowledgeable academic of ancient history, Georgia finds misery everywhere. Her international group is a set of stereotypical tourists, her bus has no air conditioning and no one is interested in hearing her prattle on about Greek history. Any iota of charm is devoid in her character. So we have the Beast & the Beast.
Of course as this predictable tale chugs along towards it happy ending (Georgia gets her groove, or 'kefi' back. This is done by having sex. Big surprise.) Georgia is faced with the monumental decision; stay in Greece leading tours with her new hunky lover of a bus driver or go teach in Michigan?
In the immortal words of the Divine Miss M: what kind of asshole question is that?
Stay away and save your money!